How to Converse With an Idiot

In life, you will run into many people who seem to have genuinely interesting opinions and well thought out arguments to get across a point, and then there are those that don't. You know the type, the one sided completely close minded steadfast idiot. Here are a few tips on how to take these bastards down with minimum fuss to you and your busy schedule.

• Avoid at all cost

Okay this first one is a bit of a no-brainer but it's still very important. The best course of action is to avoid dealing with ignorant individuals by completely shutting out all they have to say from entering your ears.

• Don't let what they say get to you

So avoiding them didn't work, and you accidentally heard what one of them said. Imagine your

standing in line at the bank and you hear the two people behind you say "You know what, I'm

pretty sure that if Obama were American, he'd release a birth certificate." now, you should probably

be fighting past that feeling of wanting to choke them and plan on formulating your statement. Stop!

This is the wrong course of action. Stop thinking about it, forget about the people standing behind you

and continue on your path, this way you miss out on there stimulating conversation and save time!

• Assault them with your superior intellect

So plan B didn't work, perhaps the other added something along the lines of "Yeah! and I'm pretty sure he's a Muslim also." now you have to get involved. This is a serious problem for you and your well being. Give a short blunt blow to the assailants and hopefully they'll be

immobilized by your words. NOTE: do not do this if you have to see the person on a regular basis.

• Remember that you are better than them

This step is to be used when the offenders attempt to argue back. Just sit back, relax, and

remember that you're just a better person and have a much happier and more fruitful life than

they do. At this point you can simply state back "I'm happier than you" and end the conversation

or simply...

• Walk off

leave. Plain and simple. say nothing and just leave. If you've followed step 4 correctly you'll be thinking

about how amazing your life is and how little this person means to you.